I hate protests. Introvert me hates crowds. HSP me hates the noise and other sensory overload. And angry shouting spikes my trauma survivor anxiety. Intentionally draw attention to myself in the midst of that?! Are you insane??!! Do you not realize there are walls of bodies hundreds deep and traffic jams blocking your escape???!!! (Oh yeah, I definitely realize that).
Aaakk!!
Last but not least, risk factors require me to avoid contracting COVID at all costs… and my last booster was 6 months ago.
But when in the course of human events any form of government becomes destructive, it’s time to stand up and be counted, even when every cell in my body is screaming “Get me OUT of here, RIGHT NOW!” Trump’s onslaught of chaos hasn’t directly impacted me yet, but it can’t be long before it does. And it’s already hurt so many people, so badly. I can’t stand by and do nothing. I doubt anyone reading a blog called Sensitive Type can.
Vexatious to the Spirit
I’ve been pondering the psychology of Trump and Musk supporters for years. Or rather, psychologies, as there are doubtless different stokes for different folks. In theory, I sort of understand some of them, though in my unboundaried HSP heart, I’m not sure I can ever fully comprehend someone who has repressed awareness of the distress of others. For better or worse, that’s just not a capacity I have.
Trump/Musk devotees, for all their talk of individualism, prefer to travel in herds. Maybe they need the incessant reinforcement and repetition to drown out their inherent perception of reality. So protesters don’t just create crowds for themselves. Those whose lives have already been kicked in the teeth by Trump’s policies need to see they are not forgotten and alone, and those who are beginning to see the light need models for stepping outside of their previous comfort zone.
Speak Your Truth
This Saturday, April 5th, there will be protests happening all over the U.S., including my small city. I don’t even have to get on a bus, and I have access to a quiet space only a block away if it gets to be too much. Protesting is never easy for me, but I don’t think it can get much less hard than this.
If I can do it, perhaps you can too? Look up your local march location and time, meditate or take kava (or both), scope out a nearby quiet zone in case you need a break, unleash your creative skills on a sign, draft your two friends, put on a privacy-protecting N95 (probably a good idea anyway with all that spittle flying), square your shoulders, gather your resolve, and do what needs to be done.
If you really can’t (I believe you), some locations have scheduled virtual protests for people with disabilities (and thumbs up to whoever finally noticed that protests aren’t for everyone). Just search the Hands Off! site for “virtual.” Since they’re remote, it probably doesn’t matter where you are (but mind the time zones).
Nurture Strength of Spirit
And if you need to vent afterwards, feel free to come back and comment here. I know the private heroism an act like this requires for people like us, even if no one else understands what the big deal is. But unless you’ve been living under a rock or on another planet for the past 2 months, I don’t need to tell you how important it is.
See you there.
I wrote this review in 2016, intending to publish it in a different venue, then forgot about it. I’ve added references to two films that came out after I wrote it.
Music meant a lot to me during my depressed years 
I’ve been grappling with a challenge I variously refer to as procrastination, low motivation, or a need for an astronomical amount of down/processing time, for awhile now. Years, actually. As you can see by my list of labels, the crux of the problem is not solving it (problem-solving is one of my natural strengths), but defining its nature (possibly less of a strength). Longtime readers may recognize this state of bemused non-functionality from the inception of Sensitive Type.
Having accomplished a self-directed life where I answer to no clock but my own, I struggle constantly with the balance between activity and down time. I often suspect the struggle is with self-judgment rather than time management, but I’m never quite confident enough of that to surrender myself wholeheartedly to my periods of rest. Maybe that’s why I need so much of it!
It’s been a rough spring. The clouds won’t quit. They’re damping down my everything. I replaced my SAD light bulb, but my light meter showed no change. So I waived my no-new-charges credit card policy just this once, and bought a new light, only to get the same readings. So much for the light meter. But whether the light is too weak or my SAD is too strong, I don’t need a meter to tell me it isn’t enough. 
sensitive type 