Category Archives: Introversion

Lead Us Not

Posted in HSP, Introversion, Resources by

A vintage line drawing of stylized sheepI’ve never liked the concept of leadership, since leaders necessitate followers, and followers are what’s wrong with this planet. Not that we can’t all learn from one another. We not only can, we’d better. But the “one another” part of that is crucial. True role modeling is an all-way process, lubricated by the understanding that everyone has something to teach and something to learn.

Whenever a process congeals into an object, watch out. “Role models” are a whole nother animal from “role modeling.” Suddenly the egalitarian give-what-you-have, take-what-you-need model has mutated into a hierarchy where those who only teach make decisions for those who only learn. The latter greatly outnumber the former, but have abdicated their power en masse, so effectively that they are quite convinced they have none. Meanwhile, the meanest, greediest specimens of humanity are steering the ship. Is it any wonder there are rough waters ahead?

Sign that says don't follow me, I'm lost tooI had a conversation with a stranger about this once. I don’t recall how it came up, but the example under discussion was deciding what to do in a dangerous situation. She said in a situation like that, she’d be glad of someone to tell her where to go. “Even if it’s the wrong way?” I asked. She didn’t know how to answer this. As an opinionated person, I know perfectly well that force of belief is no measure of correctitude (it is too a word), but in her mind, authoritativeness and knowledgeableness were so inextricably linked that she couldn’t conceive of one without the other. Now that’s really dangerous.

The tragedy that can result from unquestioning acceptance of authority was all too graphically illustrated in the senseless, heartbreaking deaths of almost 300 passengers (mostly teenagers on a school trip) on the Korean ferry Sewol last year. The crew ordered them to retire to their cabins to await rescue, which they did. The crew were then rescued from the deck, while the ship slowly sank with the young passengers, trusting and trapped below.

So what’s the alternative to “leadership?” Continue reading →

Do We Have to Draw You a Picture?

Posted in Introversion by

If you’re about ready for a laugh, I’m pretty sure you’ll find one somewhere in this set of introvert-related cartoons from artist Aaron Caycedo-Kimura.

Cartoon of solitary bird watching sunrise and thinking, "Catching the worm was great. But all this time away from the flock? Priceless."

But wait, there’s more! Here’s his INFJoe site, with more cartoons. What a coincidence – I’m an INFJ (except when I’m an INFP). And the blog theme he’s using (Dusk to Dawn) was the theme I used on my first WordPress blog. I especially like The Scope of Socializing. Also Awkward Walk. And Passing the Phone (somebody stop me before I link them all…)

The (Over)Thinker

Posted in Depression, HSP, Introversion by

An outdoor casting of Rodi's famous bronze statue, "The Thinker"This article proposes an adjustment to a widely used theory in psychology, shifting the definition of “neuroticism” from overly reactive to highly reactive, and concluding that such reactivity offers benefits in the form of foresight, creativity and drive, not just the costs of anxiety and depression. Do I see subtle signs that HSP and introvert advocates are making a dent?

Those who have wrestled with depression and/or anxiety will immediately recognize the references to “Self Generated Thought.” There’s actually an acronym for that, SGT. Who knew? It’s more judgmentally known as “brooding” by those who never do it.

Just because everything’s been said doesn’t mean everybody’s heard it.

I thought for most of my early life that I had very little imagination. In fact, I despaired over it in my twenties, around the same time I realized that everything profound had probably already been said. (I later realized this doesn’t really matter, since wisdom needs a constant stream of carriers across the generations to keep it alive and relevant. Just because everything’s been said doesn’t mean everybody’s heard it).

Twenty years later, when I became conscious of “negative self-talk” and other fantasies of doom that fueled the ouroboros loop of depression, I was ROFL at the notion that I had no imagination. Au, so contraire! In reality, I was constructing scenarios in my mind non-stop. Almost all of my energy went into it. Maybe the content needed a little tweaking, but it had been irrefutably established over decades that I was not only creative, I was extremely focused and prolific!

Life is Weird

Posted in About Me, HSP, Introversion by

So, after two months of no activity whatsoever in my newly chosen career, I suddenly have two clients this week, and both seem promising – that is, both will be good to work with, and need ongoing services.

This is also a week when I’m completing a project that put me in a highly stressful construction environment for the past few months. With the jackhammers shaking the building, and constant voices of workers shouting to each other over the racket day and night, I’ve felt like I was in a war zone.

It’s great to get away from that, but there are endless closing details to manage. If I could, I’d have chosen to do nothing else this week. Instead, I’m doing everything else! I wasn’t sure I could, but I am.
Busy woman at desk with 5 arms, typing, filing, and answering the phone all at the same time
And that’s a general theme of my life lately. I’m scrambling to keep up all the time. Continue reading →

By George, I think she’s got it!

Posted in About Me, HSP, Introversion by

3 years ago, I sat down in the middle of my life and refused to budge until I figured out why it wasn’t working.

I have learned a lot about myself since then.

I have learned that I am an introvert
(“No way!”
“Way!”)

I have learned that I’m an HSP, and what that is. These days, I think of myself as a “deep engager.” I’m not sure how much of that is introvert, how much is HSPS, and how much is my unique personality, but wherever it comes from, it’s a good description.

These days, I think of myself as a “deep engager.”

This improved self-understanding has allowed me to acknowledge without shame or apology that the following characteristics in a job make me miserable:

Continue reading →

I Don’t Mind Being Famous as Long as Nobody Knows Who I Am

Posted in Introversion by

These days, I am always running into things that scream “introvert.” The work of Korean artist, Jee-Young Lee is a perfect example. First of all, she has created her own artform. She builds the installations in her tiny studio, and then photographs them. The photograph, a step removed, becomes the art, not the original installation. Ingeniously introverted, no?
resurrection-jeeyoung-lee
If that isn’t enough to convince you, click on the picture to see more of her work. She is in her own scenes, but always in the background, facing away from the viewer (and always alone). She reveals herself on her own terms, sans interaction.

Then I stumbled across this artist on SNL:
I had never heard of Sia before, and I couldn’t even tell what language she was speaking (Australian English, as it turned out). The contrast between the visceral creative force expressed through her voice, and her withdrawn physical presence was most intriguing. I felt like I was watching an avant garde performance straight out of the 60s.

What do you think? Am I just seeing introverts everywhere because I am one, or am I on to something?

Shyness vs. Introversion at College

Posted in Introversion by

I share this piece from a UK educator site with reservations, as it treats introversion and shyness as interchangeable throughout, which they are not. However, the author makes some good points, and the two sidebars (bottombars, really), one from an educator who proactively reaches out to all of her students (which is, after all, the job of every educator, right?), may be of interest to some of my readers, along with the comments.

No place for introverts in the academy?

Hear No Evil

Posted in HSP, Introversion, Resources by

Learning that I wasn’t the only noise sensitive person in the world inspired me to be a lot more proactive about avoiding stressful noise. I decided it was time for ear muffs.

Black furry ear muffs with caption - No, silly, not these. If you’re in a place with cold winters, that may conjure up fluffy images, but it turns out there is another kind. Sound reducing ear muffs are made for people who work with loud equipment, or shoot guns for fun, which explains why I never heard of them until I started reading survival tips from introverts and HSPs.
Continue reading →

How to Live on 24 Hours a Day

Posted in About Me, HSP, Introversion by

I took a hike to the top of a 6,000-foot ridge one summer. It had a great view of the 14,000-foot extinct volcano 20 miles away. Hailing from a state where the elevation tops off at 1,000 feet, experience had to teach me the counter-intuitive fact that a mountain looks bigger the higher you get.
Continue reading →

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back: HSP Kudos and Call-Outs

Posted in HSP, Introversion by

HSPs, attend. First we have this outrageously negative and misinformed post about sensitivity from a life coach and “mental health administrator,” whatever that may be. Scary to think she might be “administering” the mental health of HSPs by taking their money and telling them they aren’t trying hard enough to “get over” their obnoxious sensitivity. Hint: You can leave comments. I suggest being kind, factual and constructive, since she was none of these.

Don’t listen to bad-mouthing! You are beautiful!

Don’t listen to bad-mouthing! You are beautiful!!


Also, the Wikipedia entry on sensitivity has lately been labelled as a “fringe theory.” Admittedly, the article was not as thorough as it could’ve been, and I can only applaud Wikipedia’s general intention to improve the quality of psychology-related entries, but have they considered what the effect might be on a given population to have a category they identify with suddenly labelled “fringe”? The person who applied the designation admitted he didn’t have the time to follow up, which strikes me as highly reprehensible. I mean you, Genandrar!

Most of the criticisms of the article as it was in April, when the “fringe theories” tag was applied, have now been addressed, and I would suggest that it is past time for Wikipedia to remove that tag from the HSP entry. I would also suggest they develop a more sensitive way to improve psychology entries without dissing people. And what, pray tell, is “appropriate  weight to the mainstream view” (emphasis all mine)? With that kind of thinking, kiss innovation goodbye.

Inhale… aaaaaannnnd exhaaaale.
The universe is vast. Annoying humans are transitory.


By now, you are probably ready for this delightful post, chockful of suggestions for HSPs that are actually insightful and useful (take note, Faydra Rector):

When You Need Stillness

Love her image of the mind as a ping-pong table. I was just thinking, “this woman has got to be an HSP,” when she said she was. I do so enjoy being right :)

And on the introvert side, we have another charming post:

12 Problems Only Introverts Understand

It gives me hope that one day we might enjoy Friday dialogues like this one:

What are you doing this weekend?

I’m going to stay inside completely.

Oh, that sounds wonderful, I’m so jealous. I have to go to a party.

Oh, you poor thing. Take a hot bath and don’t call me after.