By George, I think she’s got it!

Posted in About Me, HSP, Introversion by

3 years ago, I sat down in the middle of my life and refused to budge until I figured out why it wasn’t working.

I have learned a lot about myself since then.

I have learned that I am an introvert
(“No way!”
“Way!”)

I have learned that I’m an HSP, and what that is. These days, I think of myself as a “deep engager.” I’m not sure how much of that is introvert, how much is HSPS, and how much is my unique personality, but wherever it comes from, it’s a good description.

These days, I think of myself as a “deep engager.”

This improved self-understanding has allowed me to acknowledge without shame or apology that the following characteristics in a job make me miserable:

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In which, I am inspired at last

Posted in About Me by

closeup of a lit lightbulbGood news! I finally hit on something I already have skill in, that I can set up a consulting shingle for immediately. I had my first client yesterday. I was able to solve all of her problems. She was thrilled, and already wants to schedule another appointment for additional consulting.

I never considered consulting on this topic as a profession before because it’s a deep, deep topic, and my knowledge level is intermediate at best. However, as many, many of the create-your-own-worklife blogs I’ve been reading point out, you don’t need to know everything, you only need to know more than your client. I had forgotten how I struggled with the same knowledge when it was all new to me, how arcane and incomprehensible it all seemed. And being both a midwesterner by birth, and a woman, I am the last to see my own expertise in anything.

I am pretty excited, as money is coming in immediately (and not a moment too soon).
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Strengths Finder 2.0 – Still Looking

Posted in Resources by

Woman with rolled up sleeve showing bicep from famous Rosie the Riveter WWII posterAs I discussed in a previous post, identifying my strengths has been a huge challenge for me. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered the Strengths Finder test, first released by the Gallup Poll people in 2001, and updated to Strengths Finder 2.0 in 2007. The philosophy of the assessment is that there’s too much focus on overcoming one’s deficiencies, which may not even be doable, instead of on recognizing and developing one’s natural talents. There’s a book that accompanies the test to explain the 34 different strengths.

While I was waiting for the library copy of the Strengths Finder 2.0 book to become available, I took a free Strengths Finder test offered by a virtual coaching website, workuno. Continue reading →

Who answers ads for “rock star” positions?

Posted in About Me by

Seriously – I want to know. People with exceptional (or excessive) self-esteem? Narcissists? People who like a challenge? Only children of doting parents? People with no qualms about lying? Would you answer an ad like that?

When employers advertise for a “rock star [fill in the blank],” what is it exactly that they think they are screening for? And do they realize they are discouraging anyone with the least bit of modesty, or who might tend to undervalue their own skills (which includes most women, and could add up to a lot of perfectly well-qualified people)? Not to mention anyone who has learned to avoid employers that exhibit unrealistic expectations from the get-go. Do they really need their admin or cashier to also be a “rock star”?

Maybe it’s because I live in an area that is Start-up (read: inexperienced management) Central, but I see this in job ads a LOT, and it’s bizarre, right?

I’m OK. No, really.

Posted in Depression by

There’s a drought where I live. Drought is a terrible thing for wild animals, farmers, and lawns. But for me, endless sunny days are a dream come true. My name is – well, never mind – and I have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Don’t let anybody tell you there’s no winter in coastal California, because there is. I admit, it’s a kinder, gentler winter, but in an average year, 4 inches of rain a month for 4 consecutive months results in significant solar inhibition. That’s when I hunker down in front of the light box, cancel my expectations, and hope life doesn’t throw me any curves for the duration.
Sun breaks through clouds and reflects off of a creek in a verdant landscape
I used to live in a place with 300 cloudy days a year. Continue reading →

Test of Strengths: What Am I Good At?

Posted in Resources by

Readers who follow SensitiveType will have read my description of trying to work some advice I read on the Free Range Humans blog (advice which you can hear many other places as well): Find your strength.

I was baffled about what my strength might be for the longest time.
Two southeast Asian women sit in a hut constructing lanterns
Now that I have finally figured out what I want to do, if not quite how to do it, guess what I came across today? StrengthsFinder 2.0. That’s right, there is a test for that. What’s more, it’s been around for several years. Why didn’t anybody tell me?!
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I Don’t Mind Being Famous as Long as Nobody Knows Who I Am

Posted in Introversion by

These days, I am always running into things that scream “introvert.” The work of Korean artist, Jee-Young Lee is a perfect example. First of all, she has created her own artform. She builds the installations in her tiny studio, and then photographs them. The photograph, a step removed, becomes the art, not the original installation. Ingeniously introverted, no?
resurrection-jeeyoung-lee
If that isn’t enough to convince you, click on the picture to see more of her work. She is in her own scenes, but always in the background, facing away from the viewer (and always alone). She reveals herself on her own terms, sans interaction.

Then I stumbled across this artist on SNL:
I had never heard of Sia before, and I couldn’t even tell what language she was speaking (Australian English, as it turned out). The contrast between the visceral creative force expressed through her voice, and her withdrawn physical presence was most intriguing. I felt like I was watching an avant garde performance straight out of the 60s.

What do you think? Am I just seeing introverts everywhere because I am one, or am I on to something?

Checking In

Posted in About Me, Depression, HSP by

Close up of the face of a large turtle looking inquisitively into the cameraHas it really been a month since I posted? Sorry about that. On something of a whim, I started a daily post series on one of my other blogs. I had been neglecting it ever since I started Sensitive Type. The flurry of posts were an act of defiance against the obstacle that kept me from doing what I loved, even though I knew that obstacle was probably me.

I kept it up for three weeks.
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Shyness vs. Introversion at College

Posted in Introversion by

I share this piece from a UK educator site with reservations, as it treats introversion and shyness as interchangeable throughout, which they are not. However, the author makes some good points, and the two sidebars (bottombars, really), one from an educator who proactively reaches out to all of her students (which is, after all, the job of every educator, right?), may be of interest to some of my readers, along with the comments.

No place for introverts in the academy?

Depression and Self-Hypnosis

Posted in Resources by

Here are a couple of great links I stumbled across recently.

Cognitive Distortions: The Lies Depression Tells is an excellent article about how depression affects our inner dialogues.

Are you prepared to be Hypnotized… by yourself? is a great ‘self-hypnosis “how-to” for beginners.’ I experimented with self-hypnosis recordings that I made myself a year or two ago. My scripts centered on self-understanding and settling anxiety. The effects were so gradual and natural that I hardly noticed them at the time (which is typical of hypnosis results), but in retrospect I can see that’s when I started making breakthroughs in self-discovery. Hypnosis was also very helpful for physical feelings of intense anxiety that I was experiencing at the time.

While this is a nice article in many respects, don’t worry too much about the recommendations (daily practice, an hour at a time, and never in bed). I broke all those rules and it still worked for me. The most important thing is just to do it.