Go placidly amid the noise and haste – easy for you to say

Posted in Depression, HSP, Introversion, Journey by sensitivetype

I hate protests. Introvert me hates crowds. HSP me hates the noise and other sensory overload. And angry shouting spikes my trauma survivor anxiety. Intentionally draw attention to myself in the midst of that?! Are you insane??!! Do you not realize there are walls of bodies hundreds deep and traffic jams blocking your escape???!!! (Oh yeah, I definitely realize that).

A sea of tightly packed protestors fills the national mall in front of the U.S. Capitol

Aaakk!!

Last but not least, risk factors require me to avoid contracting COVID at all costs… and my last booster was 6 months ago.

But when in the course of human events any form of government becomes destructive, it’s time to stand up and be counted, even when every cell in my body is screaming “Get me OUT of here, RIGHT NOW!” Trump’s onslaught of chaos hasn’t directly impacted me yet, but it can’t be long before it does. And it’s already hurt so many people, so badly. I can’t stand by and do nothing. I doubt anyone reading a blog called Sensitive Type can.

Vexatious to the Spirit

I’ve been pondering the psychology of Trump and Musk supporters for years. Or rather, psychologies, as there are doubtless different stokes for different folks. In theory, I sort of understand some of them, though in my unboundaried HSP heart, I’m not sure I can ever fully comprehend someone who has repressed awareness of the distress of others. For better or worse, that’s just not a capacity I have.

Trump/Musk devotees, for all their talk of individualism, prefer to travel in herds. Maybe they need the incessant reinforcement and repetition to drown out their inherent perception of reality. So protesters don’t just create crowds for themselves. Those whose lives have already been kicked in the teeth by Trump’s policies need to see they are not forgotten and alone, and those who are beginning to see the light need models for stepping outside of their previous comfort zone.
3 women at a protest viewed from behind, holding hands

Speak Your Truth

This Saturday, April 5th, there will be protests happening all over the U.S., including my small city. I don’t even have to get on a bus, and I have access to a quiet space only a block away if it gets to be too much. Protesting is never easy for me, but I don’t think it can get much less hard than this.

If I can do it, perhaps you can too? Look up your local march location and time, meditate or take kava (or both), scope out a nearby quiet zone in case you need a break, unleash your creative skills on a sign, draft your two friends, put on a privacy-protecting N95 (probably a good idea anyway with all that spittle flying), square your shoulders, gather your resolve, and do what needs to be done.

If you really can’t (I believe you), some locations have scheduled virtual protests for people with disabilities (and thumbs up to whoever finally noticed that protests aren’t for everyone). Just search the Hands Off! site for “virtual.” Since they’re remote, it probably doesn’t matter where you are (but mind the time zones).

Nurture Strength of Spirit

And if you need to vent afterwards, feel free to come back and comment here. I know the private heroism an act like this requires for people like us, even if no one else understands what the big deal is. But unless you’ve been living under a rock or on another planet for the past 2 months, I don’t need to tell you how important it is.

See you there.
Dew hangs from a fragile spider web, against a blurred background

27Oct2018

No Direction Home

Posted in HSP, Journey by sensitivetype

It continues to astound me how many things about myself I have overlooked, or underestimated the importance of, often for decades. I’m so perceptive about other peoples’ feelings – how could I be so dense?? Is it all due to a childhood during which my feelings and desires were constantly criticized and belittled? Or is there some inherent inability in my personality (☾+♆ in the 12th?) to see the obvious when I am looking in the mirror?

That’s one of those questions that can never really be answered. Any more than I can say whether my convoluted path could have been more direct, or whether those twists and turns were an essential part of the process. That 12th house ♆ is ☌ ♃ so it is entirely possible that my confusion, as unbelievable as I would certainly have found it at the time, was inextricably linked to my growth. Continue reading →

22Sep2016

Encouragement

Posted in HSP by sensitivetype

Here’s a Ted Talk on sensitivity you will want to bookmark. Elena Herdieckerhoff’s description of sensitivity as being “in permanent osmosis with everything around you” is so right! Not only is she informative and entertaining (with a charming accent), but she embodies the subtle strength of HSPs. I’ve been feeling it for awhile, but I haven’t found the right word to express the power that lies in accepting ourselves even as we openly acknowledge our lack of armor. Maybe the word I’m looking for is “courage.”

Elena’s talk also reminds us that many of the negative reactions directed towards HSPs, whether they be men or women, are firmly rooted in sexism. The notion that emotion and reaction are feminine, and therefore an expression of weakness, is wrong on all counts. Emotionality and reactivity are not weaknesses, there is nothing inherently female about them, and last but not least, there is nothing weak or inferior about women!

But it’s hard to find words that express vulnerability AND strength. Impossible in fact. Check a thesaurus. All of the synonyms for vulnerability reference weakness and/or helplessness. And the lack of a conception of vulnerable strength is as bad for strength as it is for vulnerability. The synonyms for strength reference force, violence and domination. Before the world becomes a better place for HSPs, I think we will have to coin some new terms.