Tag Archives: introversion

My Favorite Housemates are Feline

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I was recently struck by a sub-heading in Holly Klassen’s Huffington Post blog piece on parenting as an introvert: “They are with you ALL THE TIME.”

I don’t know whether it’s an introvert thing or an HSP thing, or both, but that sentence neatly encapsulates my experience of other human presences. They don’t have to be doing anything, or saying anything. They don’t even have to be awake. Just the awareness of their presence in some way engages a portion of my energy, rendering it unavailable for other purposes. It’s like a computer process that runs in the background and eats up all your RAM, slowing down normal tasks, and making high-resource tasks impossible.

A dozing cat lies on a desktop shelfThis doesn’t happen with animal companions, however. I have often contemplated why I prefer to live with animals, but was never able to pinpoint it – until I read that sentence. The cats I share a home with are also with me, literally, all the time, not just somewhere in the house, but often in the same room I am in.  Yet somehow, my attention is not engaged in the same energy-consumptive way. If this is true for other HSPs, it may explain why HSPs are more likely than average to have a strong affinity with animals. Continue reading →

Listening Underneath

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When I was in my teens, I became aware that I experienced a certain kind of connection with some people, but not with others. When I met someone, I “listened underneath” (as I thought of it), and if I couldn’t perceive them that way, was unlikely to feel that we had much in common.

I had forgotten all about listening underneath until recently. Continue reading →

Valueless Lesson

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A blank mask without a face behind itIt’s so annoying to have to leave a job just when you’re getting good at it. I’d like to at least know what happened with my boss. I have the distinct impression our conflict was about something other than it appeared to be. Unfortunately, Mr. Not So Nice After All Guy isn’t owning up. Is that fair? Yeah, yeah, life ain’t. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Supposedly, HSPs have superior intuitive and empathetic perception. I’m not entirely convinced on that point. I have been told more than once that I discerned things a person didn’t even recognize about him/herself, usually long after the fact (and mostly by water signs, but that’s another post). On the other hand, I seem to be singularly blind to red flags in an employment context. Continue reading →

To Those Who Put Themselves Out There

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Well, the axe fell. I’m a little frazzled, but feeling better about it than I expected. In fact, I’m feeling grateful – to all the HSPs and introverts who show themselves through videos and books and blogs and interviews, to help me learn that I can still feel OK about myself, even in moments like this.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Taking Shape – HSP/Introversion & Social Life

Posted in About Me, HSP, Introversion, Resources by

daffodils in bloomI’ve been busy with my new job (which is, happily, working out), so I haven’t had time to do more than think about being an HSP/introvert lately. Nevertheless, I can feel my understanding of both evolving. I’m beginning to see probable HSPs and introverts in my daily environment, as well as to identify them in the memories of my past interactions. It gives me a better understanding of other peoples’ motivations and responses, as well as of my own. I don’t know if I necessarily feel better about people I had conflicts with, but those conflicts feel less personal. I realize that they really didn’t comprehend how I experience things at all. And I didn’t understand that they didn’t understand.

I’m also beginning to perceive at least a little about how introversion and high sensory processing sensitivity are different, especially in the area of interactions. Continue reading →

Ode to the Introvert

Posted in Introversion by

Headshot of poet Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy" Movers and shakers. Who appears on your mindscreen when you hear that phrase? Corporate CEOs? Elected officials? Activist film stars? In other words, extroverts. Or at the very least, skilled extrovert emulators.

But if we look at the first verse of Ode, in which 19th century poet Arthur William Edgar O’Shaughnessy coined that phrase, he seems to be describing an entirely different sort of person:

We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

Wandering alone in nature? World losing and forsaking? In other words, introverts. And what’s more, loners!

If you read the entire poem, Continue reading →

The Other Half

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My preschool induction into non-introverted chattiness has had its costs. For instance, I’m in my 50s and still figuring out who I am (see Once upon a time, I thought I knew who I was).

But I’ve mostly been spared the experiences that make so many other introverts seriously pissed off at extroverts. One thing introverts say over and over in blogs and videos is that you simply can’t make extroverts understand introversion. I haven’t yet had to try, so I can’t speak to that. But I had an experience recently that made me wonder whether that doesn’t cut both ways. Continue reading →

HSP Without a Face

Posted in About Me, HSP by

Line drawing of a woman's face with a question mark instead of featuresIt’s been a few months since I was introduced to the concept of high sensory processing sensitivity. I recognized the amplified physical senses in myself immediately. Issues with noise and other environmental stressors come up constantly. I was already well aware that I experienced these things more intensely than other people (or as I thought of it, that other people were, somehow, unfathomably oblivious to them).

However, it seems like my understanding of the broader implications of being an HSP is not developing much. In fact, it feels quite stagnant. I think this is because I haven’t met any self-identified HSPs, so I don’t know what that looks like. All I have to go on is my internal experience, and you can’t really compare your inside to someone else’s outside. I don’t even know what I look like from the outside! My internal Pattern Maker is frustrated with so little to go on. Continue reading →

Alone at Christmas, Thank God

Posted in Introversion by

This post is for the casual acquaintance who asks about my Christmas plans. You know the one I mean. The one who looks sympathetic when I say I’ll be spending Christmas alone, and disbelieving when I say I like it that way.

Here’s what Christmas looks like to me. Continue reading →

Networking for the Highly Sensitive Introvert

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I went to a holiday party last night. I’m not a party person, but I’m looking for part-time work, and every recruiter and guidance counselor I’ve ever met was jumping up and down in my head, urging me not to miss this opportunity to “network.” I carefully chose my outfit (festive but classy), and created a conversation-starter name tag.

In my imagination, I saw myself chatting and joking with each stranger standing near me, circulating through the room until every person there knew how witty and sharp I was. If they had an opening, they would immediately want to hire me. If not, they’d want to create one just to get me on their staff.

Where do I get these ideas? Continue reading →